Doubt is such a painful knife, it kills my memories

Where this is light, there will be shadows. Shadows move in ways that differ greatly from how the original person is moving and that is why I will call it 'Doubt'. Doubt is a very powerful yet silent killer. Its intangible and creeps into you waiting to murder the beautiful memories you have of somebody.

I always ask my friends to be more trusting, to believe and as such to be happy. Yet just as my friends are humans, I am too. I also have times when I fall prey to doubt. Doubt breeds from insecurity and insecurity comes from two people. We often hear people complain that others do things that make them have doubts yet doubting is a choice and both parties are responsible for it. For me, I'm having doubts that one of my friendships will last. I'm trying to repair this bridge but apparently its falling apart faster than I can repair it.

Maybe its just the wrong time. Maybe its not as I think. Doubting your doubts are often ways to allay them. Yet often I come to a greater, more convincing doubt. Maybe this bridge wasn't there at all in the first place. When there is nothing at all, there is nothing to repair or to destroy.

I never expect others to put me in the same priority as I do for them. Even when they are number 1 in my ranking, I just hope to be at least 101th in their's. Maybe I should stop dreaming.

Or maybe I'm just writing crap here...